I can't comment anything regarding the Microeco test today, except that I did expect what Dillon was asking us to write. I desperately wanted to ditch my Bact Pathogenesis but I'm coerced that my group and I might present our material. It turned out that none of the groups did today because it was irritatingly confusing and unorganized in terms of what the hell was the whole agenda for Zhang's 2nd half of the semester. My hour there even turned better when I got my test back, & I got 25+ points lower than I thought (I won't tell my exact score, but it's unbearable especially to a close-perfectionist like myself).
I tried to control my emotions & held back my tears, calming myself down by not saying anything and thinking about nothing while my friends in class could easily discuss about whatever. I just can't stand having anymore low scores, & I seriously studied passionately to aim for a high score. "I MUST GET A HIGHER GPA SCORE" is still my mantra from Spring 2009 till graduation. But it turned out to be utter self-disappointment. One of my friends, who had the same score (well, hers was higher...), did decide to see Zhang after class terminated, & she told Wil & I that the "please see me" sticky note she had (& on mine too) was for our teacher to ask "How come you got a low score?"
And I exactly know why I got a low score. Despite hours of absorbing the material covered in the exam, I didn't completely focus. I would study for 5 minutes, then give myself a short "break," and then another 5 minutes & "break" until it became almost compulsive, repetitive behavior. Yes, what a stupid, horrible, conscious habit of Fia's. Now it is completely different for strategizing my study habits for ALL my classes, starting with Microecology. I followed a few good friends' & mentor's advice on how to actually study, & it totally helped a lot. So I guess that is a lesson I have to apply, officially starting when I got my Bact Pathogenesis test back.
Good thing I finished my Biostats online quiz happily. To do list for the night: get my hair trimmed & answer Zhang's "Learning Objectives" right after my errand, while drinking chamomile (mMm).
